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Aftermath of a Great Reset & Sex & the City – what it means for design of cities / societies (episode 2 – Design your life) July 23, 2010

Posted by @Karen_Fu in change, environment, human quality, life challenges.
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Sex and the City 2 got me exactly thinking. Carrie mentioned about ‘designing our own lives’. True in its own right, but lacking the latter of mutual respect and understanding of why we need to change and what we actually need to change probably wouldn’t land us any better. These days affluence has bred new types of thinkers & a generation that asks questions and try harder to break free from the tradition than anything else. Change may not always be good if we do not know what we really want. The new era of freedom appears to bring in abrupt relationships of all kinds in a rush. Often to the demise of what could be great relationships with human and nature. At least that is how I candidly see it. That is why a rise in broken relationships that creates a domino effect onto other forms of relationships; and  inadvertantly onwards to changing the way people think. And when things get too deep and overtly profound, that is exactly when things start to fall apart rather than sticking back again.

While I do not condone the weak mentality of the girls, who seem to have totally lost direction in their lives; what I can understand is that people can’t be strong all the stime. In merit, the film reminds us of the inert weakness in us all when it comes to values in a lusty, glam life of the city.

What bears a thought is that designing a life with branded goods is actually a very minor thing. Design, in essence, is the ability to make one’s life as meaningful and happy without at the expense of innocent people who bears no fault on their part. Unfortunately, many times, people tend to forget because a city life usually demands social and financial success. Personal success is more about living life the way with millions at hand, freedom to enjoy life without considering how others feel. Then the next thing that could prop up is to send a surrogate mother bearing one’s offspring while one enjoys his/her late 30s and early 40s in the high class social environment that most people cannot afford. Not so much due to the fact they are untalented or lazy, but just because they probably didn’t have the slightest chance to show their abilities. I think its demeaning for the poorer party to pay their time to do what the better off wants. It reminds me of the surrogates in India, China and some other parts of the world; where the much poorer ones would do anything to get out of poverty. So here we have the social elites doing whatever they want because they have the intellectual ability and the financial abilties to do so. I don’t think thats quite fair. Assistance shouldn’t be in the form of just patronizing the poorer nations and using their services. It’s really sharing the fundamentals of knowledge that will uplift them from poverty for good.

[pic source: /www.crystalxp.net/]

No doubt one could design their lives without kids or to have a life in a high class apartment with a spare one as a reclusive space. What could be a real question is to ask why the confusion of what they actually want out of their lives. Would a cream Valentino skirt with 2 red hand prints stamped right onto the pair of buttocks be a screaming affair ? How and why should it be so? Then how did the older generation manage it without so much reprecussions? Leaving a busty nanny to take care the kids and then be suspicious of her same pair of boobs to steal their men away is another area of distrust, which is common in real life.

Traditionally, the woman spends more time at home to understand their kids. Ideally the modern woman should be able to balance both home and work.  But I think there is a way to it where both the man and the woman could share responsibilities, which is not exactly that difficult if a bit of thought is put in. That requires some look into about priorities and replan of schedules of tasks to do with healthy priorities in mind.

For what one individual life that is designing in the wrong direction, a more than social economic problem that is far harder to design in the sustainable path will produce.

The film also spells in another culture that is considered and seen as traditional but in my opinion a far greater form of relationship which is fast disappearing -that is  the ability to tolerate lonliness and the lure of materialism and yet maintain a healthy relationship that is devoid of extramarital affairs.

This also reminds me of the older generations when they have to be apart most of the time during the world wars./ under colonial years. Yet they were able to bring up all their children in the right path despite great poverty. Its very similar everywhere in the world. They rarely have to decide which nanny to hire, which school to pick, what brand of clothes to have. Their kids somewhat understand the difficulty and are far more filial children at home and diligent students at school.

As I was watching the film, I couldn’t help to think the culture is getting stranger than I thought . And in some ways, selfish. But I do admire the positive lessons about life from SATC2. Not a bad film afterall. At least it taught / remind me lessons in the real world that some things can’t be changed. More later! — Karen Fu

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